


1-1: palla al centro

by ThunderFrost2012



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Angry Sex, Because it's fun, Fiorentina vs Lazio, I'm crazy and I know it, Jealousy, M/M, Mario and Miro fight a lot, Mario is so cocky, Mario vs Miro, Training, Verbal Fights, You Have Been Warned, a little Djordjevic bashing, but in a good way, confessions and reactions, exasperated Thomas is exasperated, get ready for very unusual things, mention of Lazio and Fiorentina players, more jealousy, nervous Miro, oh yeah I made THAT happen, so much more to come, very absurd stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2491649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThunderFrost2012/pseuds/ThunderFrost2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the day of a very big Match: Fiorentina vs Lazio, which means basically Mario Gómez  against Miroslav Klose. And they fight all time long, but, nope, the point of conflict is not only the ball… Jealousy rules … and could lead to very unexpected consequences.<br/>Explanation of the Italian title in the notes ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: Franchi Stadium (Florence)/Rome Airport/Rome . Two days before Champions League match against Rome
> 
> Miroslav Klose/Thomas Müller (established relationship), Thomas Müller/Mario Gómez (past) and… (start to think of the absurdist thing ever , because, YES, it’s going to happen)
> 
> Explanation: the title is in Italian on purpose. It means ‘1–1. Back to square one ‘ , it’s related to every kind of situation where two people are even, so they wait for each other’s move. But it also refers to football, literally (because ‘palla al centro’ means ‘ball in the middle’).
> 
> Disclaimer: NEVER happened, also because it’s almost sci–fi. Mario didn’t even play today, because he’s injured; Miro wasn’t even in the line–up and played only too few minutes (I hate Pioli because he’s not trusting poor Miro much :’((( ) the match hasn’t even ended 1–1(Lazio won, yay, but without Miro it’s just not the same :/ ) . so, really, this is just happened in my mind, with all its crazy consequences. 
> 
> Warning: probably Mario’s fans may not like how I pictured his character here, but, trust me, although I don’t like him much, he won’t be a real mean antagonist in the story … so, if you want to give it a try, I’ll be very thankful to you…
> 
> another warning: Rating will surely increase..
> 
> Thanks to Peter, the bestest beta ^^

They have already met in the corridor among the two dressing rooms, glaring at each other.

Mario is glad to have recovered from his injury just in time, he wouldn’t miss such a match for any reason; the only thought of humiliate his sworn enemy makes him shiver with delight.

Miroslav has geared himself up for this day, he’s in a perfect shape, he’s full of energy and can’t wait to face his arch-nemesis.

“Mario, I’m so glad to see you here today, you know, victory wouldn’t have tasted the same without you on field.” Miro commences, not so cordially.

“Save your breath to run during the match, you’re going to need it, old man, because I’ll leave you in the dust!” Mario barks back with the same affability.  
“Oh, I’m trembling!” The Pole replies sarcastically.

“So, are the rumors true? Do you have a soft spot for kids, now?” The German questions him.  
Miroslav is puzzled by that question.

“Well, yes, it’s not big news, I love Luan and Noah more than everything and…”

“No, Miro, not them. I mean another kid: curly hair, iridescent blue eyes, a crystalline laughter, clumsy moves and a definitely biteable ass!” Mario points out. “Really, Miroslav, isn’t he a bit too young for you?”

“How the hell do you know about Thomas and me?” Miroslav almost growls.

Probably he didn’t like Mario’s appreciation about his ass one bit.

   
“Miro, finally I’ve found you!” Antonio Candreva says, approaching to him. “C’mon, the Mister wants to speak to the team, you’re the only one missing!” He adds, dragging the older away with him.

Alberto Aquilani reaches for Mario the same way, bringing him back to the team.

That has been only a simple and brief pre match meeting and they are already breathing fire.  
So the match itself may prove to be very interesting.

   
And it is. After the referee’s whistles the two German players start a no holds barred fight.

For reasons, they keep marking each other and every chance is good to start their discussion from where they have been interrupted.

“How did you know?” Miroslav asks him bitterly, while he tries to defend the ball from the Fiorentina bomber’s clutches.

“The National Team is full of chatty guys and you two were on everyone’s lips!” Mario reveals, dribbling him, but Miro regains the ball once more, throwing it to Senad  Lulic.

While the Bosnian player makes an assist to Candreva who misses the goal post, Miroslav is busy finding the guilty one in his mental inquisition.

– _Who told him? Lukas? Naaah, he’s not that gossipy … and probably he must have made sure that Basti keeps silent as well… Manuel? Nope, he’s always so reserved about relationships. Mats? Benni? Jerome? Who?_ –

He’s still searching for an answer, while in their area something happens, Stefano Mauri has been pushed down by a Fiorentina defender, which means a free kick.  
Candreva is about to shoot it, while some players crowd the area.

Miroslav and Mario are close to each other once again.

“Okay, you know about Thom and me, so what? It’s not your bloody business!” Miro snaps, following the trajectory of the ball.  
Mario chuckles, blocking him.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Thomas _is_ my fucking business and always will!” He reveals. “And ‘fucking’ isn’t a word I used just because…” He adds for good measures.

The ball flies over his head, without Miro even noticing it.

– _What the hell did he just say?_ – He ponders, stunned.

– _You didn’t expect this ace up my sleeve, did you?_ – Mario sneers.

Aquilani intercepts the ball and passes it to Mario, who takes advantage of Miroslav’s temporary shock.

The German rushes towards the opposite goal post, he’s absolutely free and there’s nothing Federico Marchetti can do to stop his fury and his hunger for goals.  
Mario sends the ball in the right corner and rejoices with his friends.

The fans at the Franchi Stadium yells their joy and admiration for him, but, despite the satisfaction for resuming to score again, Mario has another main goal.  
A Polish main goal who is still pretty dumbfounded.

“See, Miro? I’m winning this match, like I’m going to win Thomas back again!” He cockily declares.

It’s just the trigger Miro needed to recover from that numb state.

In his icy eyes starts to burn again the flame of determination: both for the match and his love issues.

“You wish!” The Pole strikes back. “To begin with, Thomas has never mentioned you as an important relationship. No wait, let me rectify, Thomas has never mentioned you; except for the friends area.” He adds and enjoys the exact moment when Mario suffers the blow.

“And about the match, okay, you scored, nice move, but it’s only the twentieth minute of first half, I have all the time to tie and maybe even win the game. Watch out, boy!” He announces, before they both take their position.

Lazio starts his action with Mauri, while Miro runs towards the penalty area.  
Once again, he finds Mario waiting for him.

“You won’t be always there for him, especially now that you have retired from the National Team.” The younger reminds to him, while he tries to dribble him, unsuccessfully.

Miro kicks the ball towards Filip Djordjevic, at his left side.

“But I didn’t, which means I’ll be there for him, whenever poor, sweet, dear Tommy feels all alone and abandoned by his Opa.” Mario adds, faking a dramatic attitude. “And I will comfort him, _my way_!” He whispers to Miro, making the Pole’s blood boil.

However, Miroslav manages to keep it cool, he knows very well what Mario is trying to do, but he won’t get a riot from him which would eventually lead to a yellow or even a red card; he’s just too clever and wise to fall in such a childish trap.

The Fiorentina goalkeeper stops Djordjevic's shot, getting ready to kick the ball to his teammates.

“Well, it just means that I’ll try to make the time I spend with Thomas so enjoyable and unforgettable and worthy that he will be able to do without it whenever we’re apart.” Miro states with self–assurance, while he runs with Mario towards his penalty area. “Besides, I trust Thomas with all my heart!”

Candreva intercepts Aquilani and the counterattack starts.

This time it’s Miro who receives the ball from the Serbian striker, but misses the goal post just of an inch.  
“Dammit!” The Pole curses.

Mario is by his side, giggling in a teasing way.

“See? You’re losing your touch, probably not only on the field. And Tommy needs a cent per cent capable lover… just like me!” He provokes the older.

Miroslav just laughs, scornfully.

“You know what? I pity you. You’re not even worthy of pull Thomas’ hair away from his forehead, so, please, shut the fuck up!” He hisses.

Time goes on and before they can even realize it, the first half is over, with the unvaried result.

All the guys leave the field to enjoy some deserved rest.  
   
Mauri reaches out for Klose.

“Geez, buddy, you should meet your former National teammates more often is that’s the effect they have on you! You’re so full of energy and adrenaline today, more so than usually.” He says, giggling. “Maybe you didn’t pay attention to the match reporter but he said ‘The German players seem to feel this match more than the others, look at them, Gómez and Klose are struggling so hard, too bad we can’t hear what they’re telling each other!’” he informs him.

– _Thanks God, they can’t hear us, we wouldn’t have left such a professional impression!_ – Miro considers, before smiling to his teammate and pretending he’s just doing his job.

 

 Not far from them there’s a similar scene, when Juan Cuadrado joins his teammate.

“Hey, Mario, this is a great recovery! You’re such a war machine today, really… you have never lost sight of Klose all time long! Not to mention the goal! What’s your secret to perform so well?” the Colombian players grins.

– _Oh well, it’s very simple, just try to find out that your former affair is making moony eyes over your sworn nemesis and you’ll act just like me!_ – Mario ponders, but – of course – it’s not the same answer he gives to his interlocutor.

“Oh well, you know, it’s just the adrenaline of being back on the field, I’m just trying to make up for lost time!” He shrugs, patting his friend’s shoulder.

\----------------------------------------------------------

During the second half the war between the two main protagonists of the match goes on and on.

Mario is about to strike again, but Lulic intervenes with a slide and takes the ball away from him.

Miro rushes to recover the ball, before it lands in corner and he manages to save it, throwing it in the middle of the field.

“You know what, Mario? I believe to think that you don’t even really care about Thomas, you’re just pissed off that he chose to stay with me.” Miroslav states.

“What makes you so sure of that?” The German questions him.

“Try to be a daddy of two twins, it will open your mind. Just take Noah. When they were toddlers, whenever he saw Luan play with a toy, no matter if until a minute before he didn’t give a damn to it, he started a show of yells and cries until he didn’t get Luan’s toy and then he didn’t care about it all over again. Now you’re reminding Noah, to me, I feel like Luan and…”

“So Thomas is just a toy to you? Geez, this is not a true lover’s way to speak!” Mario makes fun of him.

“You, idiot! It’s metaphoric language. You perfectly got the bloody message!” Miroslav snorts.

Another action, another fail, with two attempts from both of the teams.

Time is running out, there’s only fifteen minutes left before the end of the match.

That’s why when Mario tries to block him again, Miro doesn’t waste time in further chatting, but remains concentrated.

Candreva does a beautiful cross towards his direction and Miro jumps, hitting the ball with his head.

The goalkeeper skims it with his fingers, but it’s not enough to stop it and the ball ends inside the net.

Miroslav couldn’t be happier, he has been missing a goal in that championship for a way too long time.

All his teammates rush to hug him and he briefly celebrates with them, before turning to Mario.

“See? I tied the match. At least on field, we’re even for now.”

“We’ll see!” Mario strikes back.

 

No matter all their efforts, their Misters choose to take them both off the field at ten minutes from the end, but there aren’t any other goal, so the match ends in draw.  
Only the match is over, but not the quarrel between two certain players.

Taking advantage of the fact that both of the teams are congratulating each other for the match, exchanging T-shirts and handshakes; Miroslav and Mario meet again, but with a different purpose.

“Tommy and I had a wonderful love story, before you destroyed everything. Don’t you feel at least a tiny bit guilty?” Mario resumes his attack.

“I don’t know the dynamics of your relationship and why it ended badly, but you can’t ask me to feel guilty if now Thom looks as happy as I’ve never ever seen him before.” Miroslav smirks.

Mario changes his strategy and chuckles.

“You know what, Miro? I guess that after all I just have to thank you, you’re doing a big favor to me.”

The Pole narrows his eyes at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean that it’s so nice of you to keep my favorite soup warm for me.” Mario sneers.

Miroslav automatically feels his hands turning into fists, but manages to control himself.

“Well, forget it; you’re not going to dip your spoon in it, ever again!” He snaps.

They both pause, lingering on the explicit double meaning of that metaphor.

 “Whatever, you know what I mean!” The older shrugs with an annoyed gesture of his hand.

There’s the umpteenth mutual glare, before every team drags the respective hero to the dressing rooms.

\-------------------------------------

Once they’re ready to go, before Lazio guys go on their Pullman to go back home, Mario runs towards Miroslav.  
“What the hell do you want from me again?” The Pole rolls his eyes, bothered.

Mario just confines himself to casting a cocky victory grin in his direction.

“Oh, nothing special… but I’ve just received a text message and I wanted to let you know.” He sneers, showing him the display of his Smartphone.  
Miroslav reads it, deeply disappointed. Also because he didn’t get any text message from his boyfriend.

_‘ Hi, Mario, I’ve just seen the match. There’s no need to ask you how you are, because I have already seen you look great, what a goal! Awesome recovery! Lots of hugs, see you in National Team. T’_

“See, Miro? I’m always in his thoughts, it looks like Thomas has even forgot about you today ... and that’s only because he saw me on a screen.” Mario humiliates him.  
He’d like to hear the Pole’s heart crumble; instead he hears the typical sound of an incoming text message. From Miro’s iPhone.

Miro reads it in silence and then he challenges Mario with his look.

“You know, usually I don’t like displaying my personal issues or to brag about it but… whatever!” He says, showing him with visible pride the text message Thomas has just sent to him.

‘ _I’ve just seen you playing today. You’re always the best, honey. I miss you so much that it hurts, but I’m on my way to Rome, already packing my bag so.. can’t wait to spend some precious time with you, my love. Forever yours. xxx T’_

Mario almost turns green with rage and envy, but doesn’t want to give Miro such a satisfaction.

“Geez, you have turned poor Tommy into such a sappy, inane, pathetic doggy!” He pretends to complain, disgusted.

Miroslav just laughs, putting his mobile back into his pocket.

“So, why don’t you call him?” Mario suggests to him.

Miroslav jolts.

“What? Here, now?” He frowns.

“Sure, why not?”

“Well, the Pullman is about to leave and…”

“Liar! There are at least half team still missing!” Mario makes him notice.“What? Are you afraid to exhibit your oh so perfect lovey-dovey love to me?” The younger challenges him.

“I’m afraid of nothing. Just not here, it’s too crowded.” Miroslav retorts.

“My lockers are empty now, let’s go there.” Mario proposes. “There’s still time before you leave.”

“Just why?” Miro questioned him.

“To read a lame text message is not enough. If I can’t see it with my eyes, at least I have to hear it with my ears to actually believe that you’re together now.” Mario reveals.

“Okay, then. Let’s give to your ears a proper good show. Let’s go.” Miro agrees, walking away with him.

TBC


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miro makes that phone call, Thomas has his reactions about it and then (weird) stuff happens!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo,  
> I'm sorry for late, I work to too many things, besides I don't think this story has been so appreciated, so thank you soooo much to the few ones who liked it ^^
> 
> You know, lately I feel like whatever I write is not worthy... probably I should stop bothering you with my unworthy stuff..
> 
> Whatever, I just wanted to wish
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Hope it's a very good one for everyone <3
> 
> I couldn't find a more perfect occasion to celebrate with the craziest and most absurd thing ever XD
> 
> updated betaed version on 12 March 2015 XD : thank you sooo much, Peter :)

   
_\- ‘No, Mario, it’s late, I’d better meet my teammates in the Pullman and I don’t need to prove anything to you. Thomas and I are very much in love and always will be. Bloody deal with that!’ That’s what I was supposed to reply … so why am I following him to his locker? What do I want to prove? This is not the adult way to act! –_ Miroslav reproaches himself, while he walks towards the lockers area with Mario.

Mario whistles cheerfully, with the attitude of someone who has nothing to fear, while he reaches a door and opens it.

“As you can see, no one is there; we have all the privacy you need for the phone call, unless you have changed your mind.” The German teases him.

\- ‘ _Yeah, exactly, I’ve changed my mind, so, bye and I hope to see you again as late as possible!’ Wait, why am I not actually saying that? He’s giving me a second chance not to do what I’m already doing… -_ The Pole realises, drawing out his iPhone being nothing more than a conditioned reflex.

It probably wasn’t enough to be in the clutches of the demon of Jealousy, the demon of Pride must also have his fun with him now.  
After all, proving to Mario how hopeless he is about Thomas is a temptation too big to resist.  
The phone keeps ringing until the fourth time.

“Miroooo! I’m so happy to hear from you, honey!” Thomas’ joyful voice welcomes him.

Miro presses the ‘mute’ button and turns to Mario with a satisfied sneer.  
“Is it enough?”  
“No way! It will take much more than that to fully convince me!” Mario strikes back.

“Did you just mute me?” Thomas frowns, once Miroslav presses the button to annul the effect.  
“Huh? No, baby, I was just fidgeting and I pressed the wrong button, sorry for that.” Miro justifies. “So, honey, are you about to reach Rome? Can’t wait to hold you tight in my arms all over again and kissing you everywhere, especially in your oh so special spots, and make love to you until you’ll have serious problems to walk again!”  
“Waaah, Miro, usually you don’t talk this way to me… but you should more often, it gets me so horny!” Thomas admits, pleasantly surprised.

Miroslav just confines to challenge Mario with his look and the German pushes two fingers in his mouth, parodying a throw up action, with fake disgusted verses too.  
“Is there someone with you?” Thomas questions his boyfriend, a little suspicious.  
“Nope, it’s just some dumb people outside!” Miroslav promptly replies, glaring at Mario who quits.

“Guess what, Thomas? Mario and I happened to talk a bit during the match and… well, he mentioned something like being your… former lover!” The Pole makes his boyfriend notice, with a hint of bitterness in his tone.  
“Well… Miro, honey, dear, sweetie… try to understand…” Thomas babbles from the other side, visibly agitated.  
“Understand what?” Miroslav says, demanding an answer.

“That was the past, a past that must be placed back to that time when you perfectly knew how I felt about you but you were more than determined not to give us a chance. God only knows how desperate and miserable I was, I needed some comfort and Mario gave me that… and much more! So, are you angry?” He wavers.  
“Of course, I’m not. I can only blame myself for that, I should have been braver and made up my mind way sooner…” Miroslav babbles.  
“Well, the most important thing is that we’ve managed to find each other at the end!” Thomas smiles. “About what happened during those months, believe me, it didn’t mean anything, I was just in the most vulnerable moment of my life… “ Thomas explains.

“Hey! That is not something nice to say!” Mario protests, extremely insulted, revealing himself in the process.  
“Mario?!” Thomas jolts. “Wait a minute. Miroslav, did you switch the speaker on? Now I understand all that weird stuff from earlier… you just needed to show him something!” He snaps, deeply disappointed.

“Forgive me, honey, but I just needed to do it, Mario asked for a proof because he doesn’t want to believe that we’re together and wants to win you back!” Miroslav attempts to explain.  
“Win me back? I’m not a fucking trophy!” Thomas roars, more and more enraged.

“Well, Tommy, truth must be told, our dear Miro here primarily considers you like a toy!” Mario reveals with a sneer.  
“Mario!” Miroslav snaps, glaring at his enemy.  
“Miro! How could you?” Thomas whimpers, on the edge of a breakdown.

“No, sweetie, please, it’s not what you think, I could never say such a horrible thing; you know how important you’re to me. I said what I said, but it belonged to a background that gave that a beautiful meaning…” The Pole rushes to explain.  
“Oh, yeah, sure, I don’t even want to know the background!” The youngest replies, still insulted.  
“Well, Mario compared you to the same old soup!” Miro informs his lover.

“Whaaaaaat?” Thomas squeaks, between humiliated and pissed off.  
“Hey! I didn’t say ‘same old’, only ‘soup’ and I had my reasons to say that!” Mario points out.  
“Geez, guys, both of you are giving me such an injection of self esteem!” Thomas grumbles, sarcastically. “Now, please, shut the fuck up for a couple of minutes and listen to me.” He adds, before taking a deep breath.

“Miro, you weren’t allowed to share such an intimate conversation with him, no matter what!” He reproaches Miroslav, but instead who apologizing or acting woeful, the Pole glares at Mario, realising something.

“Wait a minute, you knew that Thomas would be pissed off if I had shared our private time with you… that’s why you insisted on me making that damn phone call! so incessantly in the first place” He snaps.  
“Damn right and you fell in my trap like the dumbest of the preys!” Mario sneers triumphal.

“You’re such a bastard!” Miro yells at Mario, feeling the urge to strangle him or something, but he keeps his distance. “It’s useless; you can’t have your beautiful love story back!”  
“What? Love story?!” Thomas repeats, astonished.  
“Well…” Mario grumbles, feeling guilty somewhat.

“Mario, please, enlighten me, when the hell did we have a love story?” Thomas asks him, trying his best to keep calm.  
“You didn’t then?” The oldest figures out.  
“Geez, Miro, what part of ‘It was nothing’ didn’t you get?” The youngest rolls his eyes, before giving a more eloquent explanation. “Mario and I were just friends with benefits, nothing more. Actually I would have liked to have something more, but Mario didn’t want any serious commitment, so I made the ‘thing’ we had end once for all and we switched back to ‘only friends’.”

“Dirty liar and bastard!” Miro roared to Mario, almost sending flashes of lighting with his eyes.  
“Okay, I’ve might happened to give a slightly alternative version of how things went between Thomas and me…” Mario justified, with the most innocent attitude.

“Mario, you shouldn’t have teased him. You must leave me and Miro alone, we are happy together and mean to still be for lots of years! You had your chance with me and you wasted it. We can be good friends only.” Thomas turns to Mario.  
“You’re right but…” Mario weakly protests.

 “And you, Miro, stop being so impossibly jealous and don’t mind at him, if you really love me, if you really trust me, his words shouldn’t even reach your ear, no matter whatever he attempts to say.” Thomas adds, turning to the Pole.  
“I know, but he…” Miroslav strikes back.

“Enough is enough! Dammit, guys, you both will send me to the loony bin if you keep doing that! I don’t want to make a choice between my lover and one of my best friends! And I don’t want you two to pick a fight over me every time you’re forced to stay together, like right now; so I don’t want to hear any of your pathetic and stupid excuses! I don’t care how, just find a bloody way to get on well with each other and come back to me when you learn how to act like civil people!” Thomas explodes, exasperated, before rudely hanging up.

 

“See? You made him angry!” Mario chuckles.  
“No way, _you_ made him angry!” Miro retorts.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll forgive me in a heartbeat when I welcome him at Rome!” Mario sneers.  
“What?! Forget it, you can’t be in Rome!” Miroslav lively protests.  
“Why? Maybe did you buy that town and you own it? I don’t think so. I’m free to do as I please!” Mario makes him notice, stubbornly.  
   
“Okay, it’s going to take longer than I planned...”  Miro grumbles, dialing a number on his mobile.

“Miro? Is everything okay?” Antonio Candreva answers, accepting the call.  
“Yeah, please, just tell Mister Pioli not to wait for me with the Pullman, you can go, I have to stay here for a while, I’ll reach Rome on my own.” He warns his teammate and friend.  
“Okay, Miro, don’t worry. I perfectly understand if you want to spend some time with your friend Mario, I guess you have tons of things to talk about!” Antonio strikes back, cheerful.

\- _Yeah, sure, you have no idea about how many things I have to tell this good friend of mine!_ – Miro sarcastically ponders.

“Yes, but don’t worry, I’ll be back by tomorrow for the training.” He informs the younger.  
“Alright, Miro, I’ll inform the Mister about it but I’m sure he’ll be okay with that!” Antonio assures.  
“Well, if he’s not okay, I guess he’ll prefer Filip to me in the next match, I’m getting sadly accustomed to that!” Miro mutters. “Thanks, Antonio, see you soon, bye!” He hangs up, turning to Mario. “I suggest you to inform your team as well, because I need you to stay here, so we can talk.”

“Considered it done.” Mario smirks, drawing his iPhone from his pocket and calling Alberto Aquilani and they have a conversation pretty similar to the one between Antonio and Miroslav.

 

“Ok, so what?” Mario questions his opponent.  
“Why do you want to go to Rome?” Miro questions him, taking a step closer.  
“Well, it’s been a while since I haven’t seen our dear Tommy, so…”  
“Why do you want to go to Rome?” The older asks him again, more coldly, taking another step closer.

“Because it could be the perfect occasion to visit that town I never have time t visit proper and..”  
“Fucking why do you bloody want to go to the damn Rome?” Miro inquires once more, losing his patience, his icy eyes piercing Mario even deep inside his soul.  
Miro is so close that Mario can feel his breath against his skin.  
But he’s not subjugated by that and face the Pole’s look with no fear.

“Because I can show Thomas I’m a better person and I can give him now what he wanted years ago.” The German finally confesses the truth.  
“I don’t believe you, people like you never change! Besides, there’s nothing you can do to bring Thomas away from me, so don’t even bother to try!” Miro states.  
“Don’t challenge me!” Mario cockily sneers.

Miro snorts and decides to change strategy.

“Please, Mario, try to understand. You can meet Thomas during National duties countless times, instead I have so few occasions to spend time with him now…” He points out, much quieter.  
“So why don’t you just get over with that and leave it to someone who has more time but mostly more energies to do deal with him?” Mario provokes him, scornfully.

It’s the last straw.  
Before Miro can realize his hands are already pushing Mario’s shoulders, letting him stumble on a bench and fall on the floor.

“How dare you?” Mario snaps furiously, trying to get up, but Miro is quicker and straddles him, pinning his back on the floor.  
“You, insolent! You know nothing about Thom and me!” Miro growls, pulling his hair.  
“I just know what Tommy likes, so I’m still wondering why he’s wasting time with you!” Mario strikes back, pushing the Pole away in order to break free.  
They both get up, staring at each other, panting heavily.  
There’s just too much tension to bear it any longer.

“For the last time, Mario, leave Thomas and me alone!” Miro orders.  
Mario bursts out laughing.  
“Otherwise, what are you going to do?” The younger challenges the Pole.  
Miro smashes him hard against a locker, making his head hit the steel.  
   
But before he can feel hurt, Miro’s lips are on his, insistently asking permission to enter.  
And even more surprisingly, Mario finds himself very willing to part his lips and accept that intrusion.  
They kiss each other like they fought, with a rude passion, with violence, craving the supremacy over each other.  
There’s nothing tender in that but neither of them desire tenderness.  
The angry tension quickly turned into sexual tension and now there’s only a way to give vent to it.  
Mario resorts to the last grain of self-control to part from Miro and catch his breath.

“What the hell are we doing?” He wonders.  
“I don’t know, but I can’t stop!” Miro barks back, pulling him closer.  
“Neither can I!” Mario strikes back, kissing him hungrily.

They literally rip each other’s shirts off, without poetry, without delicacy.  
They’re on the floor once again, fighting for dominance and it’s a fight made of mutual scratches, bite marks and bruises all over their bodies.  
And it’s Miro to win the battle of domination.

“I just hope Sylwia won’t notice that!” Miro groans, tracing one of the scratches on his chest, while he straddles the German  and reaches for his jeans.  
“I hope Carina won’t ask me about this… otherwise I’ll have to tell her that I’ve been attacked by a ravenous wolf!” Mario chuckles, pointing to the bite marks on his shoulder and upper arm; before pulling Miro to himself, for another eager and demanding kiss.

“You haven’t seen yet how ravenous I can be!” Miroslav sneers, letting a hand slip under the elastic band of his boxers.  
“Mein Gott!” Mario hisses, throwing his head back and wishing that Miro will get rid of his jeans and boxers – and possibly Miro’s own, too - as soon as possible.  
And the Pole pleases him, parting for him only with the intent of make them both equally naked, before taking every possible advantage of that.

\---------------------------------------------------------

“Miro, Miroo, Miiirooooooooooo…oh, God!” Mario screams, slave of pleasure, releasing on the Pole’s stomach.  
“See? Looks like Opa still have some energies!” Miro smirks, on the top of him, before getting up and dressing up again.  
“You do, indeed, now I begin to understand what Thomas sees in you…” Mario admits, astonished and deeply satisfied.

“And you’re not so bad, as well, I understand if Thomas enjoyed some rides with you!” The Pole winks at him. “Well, I guess you’ll have to lend me a Fiorentina T-shirt or hoodie  if you want me to leave this place!” He chuckles, showing him what remains of his shirt.

“Woow! We’ve been such animals!” Mario laughs, before becoming serious. “Miro, how we are supposed to tell Thomas about this?”  
This makes the Pole lose every will to joke about it.  
“Oh, shit, we’re doomed!”  
   
TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't even think it was possible to write *that* pairing tag , lol XD
> 
> jokes aside, I hope you'll like it... but I don't think so.. forgive me but my pessimism rules.
> 
> Happy new Year once again ^^


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absurd things must end in an even more absurd way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo,  
> sorry for this huge late, but I’m a disaster with updates, you should know that ;P  
> Thanks to everyone for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, it means a lot ;)
> 
> Will you still stick around? Uhmm… :/
> 
> Not beta-ed (but at least I replaced chapter 2 with its beta-ed version ^^ )

   
It’s 11:00 a.m. and, in time as a Swiss clock, Miroslav is ready to begin his session of training with Lazio.  
He has managed to arrive back in Rome soon enough to get a rather long rest.  
  
Well, a long rest disturbed by memories, wild dreams and mostly the fear of facing Thomas and telling him the truth.  
Okay, let’s say that poor Miro has barely slept, but this is not an obstacle for such a World Champion like him.  
  
After all, he just needed something else to focus on and his job is proving to be the solution.  
As a matter of fact, he’s working so hard that Mister Pioli keeps showing signs of appreciation towards him.  
  
\- _Alright, so maybe I’ll be in the line-up also for next match. In spite of you, Filip!-_   The Pole ponders, satisfied, scoring for the third time during that little training match.  
- _Oh, well, if these are the result, I should mess my life up way more often!-_ He muses with a smirk, while wild flashbacks of the previous night cross his mind. – _Nonononono, Miro, take it back!-_ He reproaches himself, immediately after.  
   
After a while, that little match is over, with Miro’s team smashing victory.  
It’s time to move to the next phase of the training, the kick-up sessions. Mister Pioli decides the pairing for that.  
Miroslav ends up matched with Antonio Candreva.  
“Geez, Miro, today you’re definitely reminding to everyone that you are a Weltmeister!” Antonio smiles at him, kicking the first ball.  
“Sometimes I like doing that!” Miro chuckles, sending the ball back to him with a very well aimed blow of his head.  
“So, how did things go yesterday, with Gómez?” The Italian casually wonders, hitting the ball again.  
   
Miroslav is undeniably caught off guard and he skims the ball with his head so badly that he sends it towards Djordjevic’s and Andersons’ direction, interrupting their series of kick-ups.  
   
“Hey! Pay more attention!” Filip yells at him, rather annoyed.  
   
“Well, Miro, let’s say that we don’t need an extra difficulty in our exercise!” Felipe giggles, much more cordially, giving the ball back to his mentor.  
“Thank you. Remember, guys, difficulties, in real life as in sport, only urge you to improve.” Miro wisely says, winking back with complicity at the Brazilian. “And being more tolerant surely would improve your soul!” He adds, glaring at Filip, before coming back to Antonio.  
  
   
“Yesterday? Huh, yeah, it went fine. We… huh… we talked a lot!” Miro babbles, restarting the exercise.  
This time he kicks the ball and Antonio hits it with his head.  
“You’re so lucky! I wish I had such a sexy former teammate to ask me out for a dinner and recall stuff together!” escapes from Antonio’s mouth, while he hits the ball back to The Pole.  
“Well, he didn’t exactly ask me out for a dinner … wait. What?”Miro realizes what Antonio has just said and stops the ball under his feet, because he’s sure that he‘d mislead the direction once more if he kicked it after such a shocking revelation.  
“What?” He repeats, frowning at the Italian.  
“What?” Antonio echoes, acting with all the nonchalance he can show, but he keeps feeling the Pole’s questioning eyes on himself.  
“Okay, forget what I said. It’s just that Mario is undoubtedly such a hottie and… this morning probably my coffee was spiked with way too much grappa!” The younger admits, feeling awkward.  
“Okay, let’s pretend that I didn’t hear anything. But you know what, Antonio? I guess that it’s better if we keep doing our exercise in deep silence.” Miroslav suggests.  
“I couldn’t agree more!” The Italian approves, blushing a little.  
  
\----------------------------------------  
  
The training is over, without any other obstacle for Miroslav, but the Pole almost bursts out laughing, while he reaches his car in the private parking area.  
  
\- _Oh my, Antonio mentioned him so much that now I see him everywhere!_ – He muses, seeing the hallucination of Mario waving his hand to him.  
  
The Pole mirrors his actions for fun, but his smile turns into a disappointed groan when he sees said hallucination walking towards him.  
  
\- _Maybe he’s not a hallucination!_ – He figures out, annoyed, especially when the German touches his hand.  
  
Not a hallucination at all.  
  
“Hey, Miro. Did you miss me? I didn’t for sure, but we have a common goal!” Mario states.  
“What the hell are you doing here?” Miro snorts, searching for the key of his car in his pocket.  
  
“The same thing you’re going to do. I know where you’re heading; you didn’t even stop with the fans as your usual!” Mario replies.  
“Today is not a usual day!” Miroslav strikes back, getting in the car. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” He snaps, when he sees the German slides on the other front seat.  
  
“Simply. I’m going at the airport with you; it’s easier than using two cars. C’mon, I’ll even pay half of the fuel. Now go!” Mario shrugs, getting comfortable on the seat.  
“How do you know that I’m going to the airport?” Miro wonders, but sets the car in motion anyway.  
  
He knows how stubborn Mario can be, but he doesn’t have time to waste.  
  
“Bayern arriving in Rome? C’mon, I don’t have to be a story-teller to know that you’re heading there, displaying a red carpet to your dear Tommy Dummy!” Mario says in high-pitched voice.  
“Don’t call him that! I mean, how do you know that their plan is about to land?” The Pole points out.  
  
“Maybe you’re not the only one who Thomas told that to.” Mario sneers.  
Without losing sight of the road, Miroslav glares at the German.  
“Okay, let’s say that I had to insist a lot for him to reveal that to me.” The other confesses, rolling his eyes.  
  
“Mario, Mario, listen to me, if I were you I’d give up on Thomas and I’d start taking a look around, there’s plenty of other guys. I’m convinced that in your team there’s someone who craves a date with you. Oh well, in mine there’s one for sure.” Miroslav reveals, heading to the highway.  
“Who?” Mario questions him, curios.  
“Antonio Candreva.” Miroslav informs him.  
“Wait, it’s the guy with the beard, right?“ Mario figures out, caressing his chin thoughtfully.  
“Yep, do you fancy him?” Miro wonders with fake casualness.  
Mario shrugs.  
  
“Why not? But I’d surely fancy more that Serbian striker, what’s his name?”  
“Djordjevic?” Miro growls, rolling his eyes.  
“Yep, especially for the face you’re making now!” The German chuckles fiercely.  
“Alright, I can already picture you two spending your romantic night talking about how you both hate me!” The Pole snorts, while he checks the high road signs.  
 “That sounds like an amazing plan!” Mario sneers, before sliding a bit closer to Miro. “But there’s a difference. I don’t know about Djordjevic, but I hate you with a passion!” he murmurs, caressing his left thigh.  
  
Miro slightly jolts, pushing his hand away, but as gently as he can.  
“Mario… this is flirting... again... and it’s not good; especially because I’m driving now.” The Pole makes him notice.  
“Does it mean that if you weren’t driving it would be good?” The German pushes his luck.  
Miroslav resorts to his warning tone.  
“Mario...”  
“Okay, I’ll behave!” The younger gives in, keeping his distance from his interlocutor.  
“So, coming back to what we were saying; first I’ll try to find out if Filip is... what can I say? Not so heterosexual...and then I’ll try to set up a date between you two!‘” The elder kindly offers.  
“Very nice of you!” Mario smirks.  
  
\------------------------------------------------  
  
“Right there, to Terminal 3!” Mario urges Miro, pushing him in that direction.  
Finally they have managed to reach the airport in time.  
“What? You’re wrong. Their flight will arrive on Terminal 1. Thomas sent a text message to me.” Miro informs him.  
“Yeah, so he did with me, saying that they would arrive...” Mario says, but stops seeing the cocky way the other is smirking at him.  
“Wait. Do you mean that...?” The younger figures out, frowning.  
“Someone didn’t want to be found by you!” Miroslav singsongs, very pleased.  
  
They arrive to Terminal 1 and after a while they see the Bayern team approaching.  
There are not too many fans around, so they can break free rather shortly.  
Thomas immediately catches a glimpse of Miro and runs towards him.  
  
“Mirooooo!” He cheers, but stops half way when he sees Mario standing there, too.  
“Mario?” The youngest frowns. “It’s not that I’m not happy to see you, but...” He wobbles, before turning to his boyfriend. “Miro, you must believe me, I swear that I tried to keep him away, but... hey, wait a minute. You don’t look so surprised. Not even disappointed...” He starts to figure out, narrowing his eyes.  
  
“Actually, we both were waiting here for you.” Miro explains.  
“Both? Spending time next to each other? Without even giving each other a black eye?” Thomas replies, astonished. “Open your mouths, come on!” He urges them.  
The elders stare at each other puzzled, but they obey.  
“And you don't even have a broken tooth. This is weirder and weirder.” Thomas mumbles to himself, after inspecting them.  
  
“I know it’s quite hard to believe, but sometimes Miro and I can behave in a perfectly civil way.” Mario informs him.  
“No, really, guys, jokes aside, why are you both here? You must have something epic to let me know, is it so?” Thomas questions them.  
Out of the blue, Mario and Miroslav are lacking for proper words.  
Or maybe the airport is not the best place for such a revelation.  
  
“We’ll talk later, now we have to greet the others!” Miroslav says, walking towards the other Bayern players. “Hey, Jerome, Manu, Fips! How are you doing, guys?” He smiles, hugging them.  
Mario reaches the other group as well.  
“Hey, Robben, killer machine, how many goals do you plan to score to Rome tomorrow? Robert, now we can say that finally Bayern has a worthy Polish player!” The German chuckles.  
“Heeey! I heard you!” Miro growls, glaring at him behind Philipp’s shoulder.  
"You were supposed to hear me!" Mario strikes back, fiercely.    
“Now I recognize you a little more, but it’s still not enough!” Thomas grumbles, before he drags them both and isolates with them in a quieter corner.  
“You’re hiding something to me, aren’t you?” The Bavarian inquires them.  
“This is not the proper place, nor the proper time to tell you.” Miro asserts and Mario nods.  
  
Thomas’s typical amused smirk turns into a blank expression and he looks a bit paler, too.  
“Okay, guys, now you’re scaring the hell out of me. Is it something very bad? Like, I don’t know, one of you being very, very, very ill?” He hesitantly wonders.  
“What? No, honey, both of us enjoy very good health, don’t worry about that.”  Miro calms him down.  
“Yep, it’s a total different kind of matter, but we can’t tell you yet. Not now, neither here.” Mario clarifies.  
  
“But I’m curious, I want to know now!” Thomas insists with a pout, like a spoiled kid.  
“I’m afraid that’not possible, honey. You know what? First you play your match and then, when it’s over, we’ll tell you everything.” Miro suggests.  
“What? No bloody way! You two can’t come to me telling me you have big news to tell me without telling me anything before the end of the match. There’s no way I can play concentrated if you don’t tell me now. It’s your fault, I’m going to tell Pep that you messed my mind up; he surely won’t be happy about it... and, believe me, it’s not pleasant dealing with a pissed off Guardiola...” Thomas threatens them.  
“Since I skipped the training today, I already have to deal with a pissed off Montella, one angry Mister is enough!” Mario protests.  
  
“Oh, so you skipped the training to see me. How cute!” Thomas beams at his friend.  
“Yep, not like this mama’s boy who diligently had his stupid training before seeing you, because he considered it a priority.” Mario teases the Pole.  
“Thomas, don’t listen to him. _You_ are my priority, it’s only that your flight would arrive this afternoon, there was no reason to skip the training, but if you had arrived earlier, I would have.” Miroslav assures.  
  
“Thanks dear, I believe you.” The youngest smiles, softened. “But I didn’t forget the important matter we have to talk about. Let’s do things this way: I got some free time before training with the team, so why don’t you follow me in my hotel room? I have to share it with Robert, but I’ll ask him to go somewhere else for a while, so we’ll have some privacy.” He suggests.  
“What do you think?” Miro asks Mario.  
“I guess we should go.” His nemesis approves.  
  
\----------------------------------------------  
  
“So, guys, are you going to tell me something before the coach calls for me and the other Bayern guys to go in the Pullman or what?” Thomas urges them, rolling his eyes.  
After all, they have been in the room for about twenty minutes, Robert kindly accepted to leave them alone, but Mario and Miro still have trouble finding the right words.  
Thomas sits on the bed, Mario is torturing an armchair, fidgeting with its leather; while Miro sits on the floor, with his legs crossed, grazing the carpet.  
  
“Okay, we have to do it. It’s like to rip a band-aid off. It must be quick and painless.” Miro decides. “Thomas, I don’t know how it happened, why it happened, I don’t know where to begin from to tell you, but...”  
“Is this the way you rip a band-aid off? You’re pathetic!” Mario snorts, before facing Thomas.  
“Miro and I had sex.” He reveals, simply and plainly.  
  
Thomas thanks his lucky stars he’s already sat, while he jolts.  
“W-what?” He asks for confirmation, staring shocked first at Miroslav and then at Mario.  
“You heard it right.” Miro nervously confirms with a nod.  
“You. And Mario. Together.” Thomas resumes, calmly.  
And then the unexpected happens.  
  
Thomas bursts out laughing, rolling on the bed.  
Mario and Miroslav stare stunned first at him and then at each other.  
  
 “Thom? Thomas? Are you sure you really understood what we said?” Miro asks him, confused.  
“Yeah. Miro and I slept together. Oh, wait, ‘slept’ is not the correct word, there wasn’t even a bed! It happened in my locker.” Mario points out.  
“Not even a bed?! Oh my, you were slaves of passion and lust, then!” Thomas replies, among laughter, holding his stomach and having some trouble to breathe.  
Miroslav gets up and walks towards the bed, shaking his boyfriend by his shoulders.  
  
“For God’s sake, Thomas! I cheated on you. How can it be that you are not yelling at me the worst things ever?” Miroslav questions him, sort of disappointed.  
Thomas becomes serious again.  
“I would... if you really cheated on me. I mean, you cheat when love feelings or affection come into play. Is this your case? Are you trying to tell me that there’s something tender between you?” Thomas inquires.  
  
Miroslav and Mario’s disgusted faces are the more eloquent answer ever.  
“See? That’s exactly what I mean. You know, c’mon! It’s just like... I don’t know, if Obama and Osama had had sex together!”  
“Okay, Thomas, I know what you’re trying to say, but... couldn’t you find a better comparison?” The Pole snorts.  
“Why? I think it fits us to a T. Me, cool like Obama, and you, old like Osama... and even more dead than alive!” Mario chuckles impudently.  
“Don’t you dare, you insolent!” Miro growls at him.  
“Here we go again!” Thomas rolls his eyes, but truth must be said, deep inside he sort of missed that I-can’t-stand-you scenario.  
  
“You know what? I guess that if this thing happened it’s my fault somewhat.” The Bavarian goes on. “I said that you had to find a way to get on well with each other... and you did!”  
“But it has been only an episode; it’s not going to ever happen again.” Mario assures.  
“This is one of the very rare times that I agree with him.” Miroslav asserts, glancing at Mario.  
  
“Are you really sure that it won’t’ happen again? Not even if I suggested you a sexy threesome?” Thomas teases them. “You know. You two, me... and this large, comfy, bed. Maybe after Tuesday match...”  
He moans temptingly, caressing the mattress. Miroslav and Mario exchange and intrigued look and then they both stare at Thomas the same way.  
  
“Geez, guys! Wait, I was only joking!” The youngest almost chokes in his own words.  
 “Well, we aren’t!” Mario strikes back.  
“Yeah, honey. I really can’t think of a better way to celebrate your victory against Rome.” Miro mumbles.  
“Or to console you after a bad defeat.” Mario adds, reaching the couple on the bed.  
“Damn you, Mario, why do you have to be such a jinx?” Miroslav reproaches him.  
“I’m only realist. You have to consider all the eventualities.” Mario justifies.  
   
Thomas takes advantage if their umpteenth quarrel to part from them and get up from the bed.  
“However, guys, victory or defeat, it’s not going to happen. Never ever! And now I guess I should go to the training. Bye!” Thomas quickly takes his leave.  
  
Miroslav and Mario watch him go and then they stare at each other.  
“Sounds like we have a common goal again, right?” The Pole figures out.  
The German nods with a cocky smirk.  
“You bet. We just have to make Thomas change his mind!”  
\--  
  
THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not that you want to see such a thing happen... right?  
> That’s why the story ends here ;P
> 
> So... did you expect this reaction from Thomas? ;)  
> Hope you had fun reading that , but feel free to let me know anything ^^
> 
> Bye for now.  
> p.s. I didn’t forget all my other WIPs, just give me some time ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, get ready for the phone call and, well… for very weird/absurd things, something I haven’t seen ever happen so far, anywhere…
> 
> I know it’s less funny that what I usually write, but I hope you’ll like it anyway.
> 
> Every sort of feedback is deeply loved and encouraged, so, please, give me a sign if I’m doing a barely decent work. <3
> 
> p.s. Speaking of funnier stuff, next update will be ‘Highs and Lows’ or part 5 of the Series, it depends what I finish first ;)


End file.
